Preparing for the Coming of Little Ahab

My Beloved Wife Lei is already in her 7th month of pregnancy. Her belly is now the size of a big watermelon. Our baby, on the other hand, is very active. In fact, I could see Lei’s belly actually moving whenever our baby moves inside her belly.

I couldn’t believe that time passed very quickly. It feels like it was just two days ago when we received the news of Lei’s pregnancy. Now, we are waiting around two months for Little Ahab to come out of his hiding place.

Since it’s just few weeks before her delivery, Lei decided that we go to the nearest mall to buy the things that our Little Ahab will need.

Lei’s Mother’s Book listed the following items that we should buy for our baby:

1. Shirt or tie-side (5 pieces)
2. Diaper pins / clips
3. Receiving blankets (5 pieces)
4. Wash cloth
5. Diapers (cloth or disposable)
6. Booties (3 pieces)
7. Sterile cotton
8. Cradle

We spent 5 hours inside the mall. Lei really took her time in comparing all the items that we’re purchasing in the baby section of the mall. The result is sore feet for the two of us. Actually, Lei’s feet was more sore because of her “manas”.

In exchange for the sore feet, we managed to buy all of these:

Yeah! Mission accomplished!

We also bought a bag to hold all of the clothes of Little Ahab. We didn’t buy any feeding bottle because the salesladies were so makulit and didn’t left us to shop in peace.

We’re fortunate that Lei’s sisters are donating some of their baby clothes. My older sister is also donating her baby stroller and a training bike. I hope more donations will come in the future.

There’s more items that we need to prepare and I’m glad that we’re done with our baby’s clothing needs.
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It's a BOY!

Many people, from office mates to friends to relatives, tried to guess the sex of our little baby. A large majority said that our baby will be a girl.

My guess that our baby will be girl.

My Beloved Wife Lei guessed that our baby will be a boy.

The guessing game was over last weekend and the ultrasound result is this:

Our baby is boy!

All I said was that Lei has the advantage of having our baby inside her womb so her intuition will be more accurate than mine.

Lei also said that she dreamt of arranging blue paperclips the week before our visit to the Ob/Gyne. She thought that the dream is telling her about our baby.

I am happy, obviously, because Ishmael Ahab Jr. is coming (although Lei doesn’t want to name our child after me so it will not be a junior). I am also happy because Lei and the baby are healthy. Although, she needs to reduce her intake of carbo-rich food because she’s getting overweight (including the baby) which may cause her to Caesarean operation.

Lei’s is already at her third trimester. In just a few months we will be seeing out little junior and I’m excited for that.
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Our Baby is Moving!

Lei told me that our baby is moving the whole day while she is at the office. She said that she can feel the movement. She can even pinpoint where our baby is during his/her rest times.

My Mom told me that that movement is normal and it means that Lei’s pregnancy is going well.

Lei also reported feeling “itchiness” inside her womb. Her office mates attributed the itch to the hair that covers our baby.

I think that Lei’s co-workers are correct. According to Lei’s Mother Book (or Pregnancy Book), our baby should be covered by fine hair since he/she is already in the 4th month development stage. That hair is known as lanugo and is normally shed in later stages of our baby’s development.

We are yet to hear our Ob/Gyne’s comments regarding our baby’s movement but I think that our baby is doing well.

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Image courtesy of Stuart Miles / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Fatherly Advice: What to Do When You Lose Your Cool

Being a good husband requires great amount of patience. As we all know, marriage is not purely a fun ride. There will be problems or disagreements or petty quarrel or even a big war with the wife. The virtue of patience will be very helpful in avoiding all of these.

There were times, however, that we lose patience. I admit that it happened to me a few times already, especially now that Lei experiences mood swings due to her pregnancy.

Some people would say that it is fine to let out our temper a few times because we're just humans. These people are correct but we can (and should) strive to be better humans (and husbands).

Here are some things that you can do when you lose your cool:


Say “I am Sorry”

Saying “I am sorry” should be the first that you should do. Apologize to your wife sincerely. Practice the virtue of humility and tell her that you are in the wrong.

Your wife may not immediately accept your apology but what's important is that you apologized.

Pray 

Another person that you should apologize to is God. He expects you to act as a good husband because it is part of your solemn marriage vows at His altar. Pray to God for forgiveness and also ask Him to help you to be a good husband.

Aside from praying to God, it is also good to pray to our heavenly intercessors (a.k.a the Saints). I personally pray to Saint Joseph since he is known to be the best father and husband that ever lived. You can also pray to other saints that you want. I also suggest that you pray to your guardian angel for help.

Reflect on What Happened 

You should also think about what caused you to lose your patience. Was it entirely your fault? Did your wife did something that displeased you? Think about what happened objectively. Don't let your anger or other emotions cloud your judgment.

Talk about It with Your Wife 

Big wars between husband and wife do not occur spontaneously. It is a result of little disagreements or petty quarrels that were not resolved. These little things accumulated in the heart and was left there to fester.

To preempt the big wars, you and your wife must resolve the small quarrels. Don't be afraid to open the line of communications and talk about what happened. However, you must do this prudently and with humility because doing otherwise might spark another confrontation.

Practice and More Practice 

Being patient doesn't come overnight. It requires, like other virtues, continued practice. To be a more patient husband you must become a patient employee, and a patient father, and a patient jeepney passenger, and a patient MRT rider --- in short we should practice patience in all areas of our lives until it becomes a habit.

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There are other things that you can do when you lose your patience with your wife but what I posted here are the vital things.

Always remember that there will be friction between you and your wife. It is painful (and at times will wound you deeply) but you must make your love grow bigger than all the problems that will come. Love your wife and honor your marriage vows.

Saint Joseph, model of good husbands, pray for us!

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Image courtesy of holohololand / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Patron Saint (and Prayer) for Expectant Mothers

We Catholics have prayers for every occasion and patron saints for every cause, even the odd ones. If you lose something, pray to St. Anthony de Padua. If you’re being bugged by wasps, you can ask the intercession of St. Friard. Probinsyanas can have St. Germaine Cousin as their intercessor.

Pregnancy is a serious matter. Many women experienced difficulties and some perish because of it. For this reason, it is very important that the pregnant woman and her husband seek the help of God. An added bonus for us, Catholics, is that we can seek the help of saints in heaven.

Let me reiterate that we don’t pray to saints as if they were gods. We pray to them for intercession because they are close to God. They are like friends who plea to God on our behalf.

Bonnie Way listed 7 patron saints for pregnancy, childbirth and motherhood. The most popular, of course, is the Virgin Mary. The next popular patron saint for pregnancy, based on Internet search, is St. Gerard Majella. His intercession is sought by pregnant women because of the miracle that occurred after he prayed for a woman in labor.

So, aside from the Virgin Mary, I will also ask the intercession of St. Gerard for healthy pregnancy and safe labor of Lei.

Here is the prayer to Saint Gerard that can be recited by expectant mothers:

O great Saint Gerard, beloved servant of Jesus Christ, perfect imitator of your meek and humble Savior, and devoted child of Mother of God, enkindle within my heart one spark of that heavenly fire of charity which glowed in your heart and made you an angel of love. O glorious Saint Gerard, because when falsely accused of crime, you did bear, like your Divine Master, without murmur or complaint, the calumnies of wicked men, you have been raised up by God as the patron and protector of expectant mothers. Preserve me from danger and from the excessive pains accompanying childbirth, and shield the child which I now carry, that it may see the light of day and receive the purifying and life-giving waters of baptism through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen

Husbands and loved ones of expectant mothers can use this prayer too. Just replace “me” with the name of the expectant mother and “I” with “she”.

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For more saints with odd patronages, please visit the Aggie Catholic blog.

Image of St. Gerard and the prayer came from Our Catholic Prayers.com

Working Mom or Stay-at-Home Mom?

Lei suddenly asked me this question: “Kaya ba natin kung ikaw lang ang magtatrabaho?” (Will we be OK if you’re the only one working?)

Her question raised more questions in my mind, like: can we survive if I’m the only one working for the family? Another question is who will take care of our child if Lei continue working?

Lei is currently working as a contractual employee in a government agency. Her salary helps us to make ends meet, especially since we are paying off debts and renting an apartment.

There are advantages for being a working mom. The primary advantage is the income that the working mom earns keeps the family afloat. Another advantage, especially for the career-driven woman, is that the working mom receives personal satisfaction from her professional achievements at work.

On the other hand, being a stay-at-home mom should not be looked down upon since it has its own advantages, number one of which is the focused care that the she brings to her children and the family. A growing child needs full attention, especially during the formative years. They may not be focused in their career but stay-at-home moms derive satisfaction from always being there for their children.

Should Lei stop working and be a stay-at-home mom? We don’t know the answer yet. Well, we have few more months to decide. As of now, Lei keeps her job.

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Image courtesy of jesadaphorn / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Day 15: Unexpected Happiness

It's more than two weeks since we discovered that Lei is already pregnant. I am very concerned with her health because of the continued bouts of vomiting. What's worst is that her vomiting usually occur after midnight, thus, preventing us from having good sleep. She can't eat well and she can't take her vitamins and other medications.

Because of this, we decided to go to another obstetrician / gynecologist (ob/gyne) for check-up. We were determined  that Lei take all the tests (ultrasound, papsmear, etv.) that the doctor will require.

It is on this day that Lei had her very first ultrasound. It is on this day that my child had his/her very first “selfie”. It is my first time to see him/her and I couldn't stop smiling. I couldn't explain it but I felt so happy seeing an ultrasound view of our child. It caught me by surprise.

6 weeks old embryo (Source: About.com).

Our new ob/gyne reported that our child is already 6 weeks old, about 7 mm in size, and already has heartbeat.

We are excited to actually see our child but we have to Be more patient because Lei continue feeling nausea and vomiting. And more changes to her body will come that will be another struggle.

May our Lord help us.

My Fatherhood Begins in the Womb

(Source: Parenthub)

I am learning a lot of things during the first weeks of Lei’s pregnancy. Of the lessons that I learned, the most important is that fatherhood begins the in the womb.

Life of a human being begins at conception, particularly at the moment when the sperm meets the egg. Consequently, husbands and wives instantly become fathers and mothers at that moment even without their knowledge.

This fact demands that I should act as a father even though I am not able to see or touch my child. And as a father, I should be more conscious to welfare of Lei and our child. I should provide not only their material needs but also their need for a good father (and husband) in our little home.

I know that the demands are high and this is so new to me. I will be taking baby steps to fatherhood even before my child has to take his/her baby steps. I must have temperance, fortitude, faith and all the virtues needed to become a good dad and husband.

I turn to God and pray that He gives me the strength to become a good father to our child. I also turn to St. Joseph, the great model of good fathers and husband.
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Day 7: Attack of Nausea

Past 12 midnight - Lei woke up with a jolt. I realized immediately that she had another spell of sickness and was about to throw up. For an hour, I held onto a small basin while she spewed her dinner.

Our ob/gyne and Internet articles said that morning sickness is normal during the early period of pregnancy. According to them, the pregnant woman’s body is changing because of the hormones being produced for the development of the fetus. I even read that nausea is a sign that the pregnancy is going well.

After an hour of vomiting, Lei asked for a ripe mango, maybe to remove the bad taste in her mouth.

I know that there are many changes happening inside Lei’s body. It is not obvious right now because she’s at the early weeks of pregnancy. Some things that I did notice are the following:

1. Bouts of nausea, that don’t only occur during the morning but the whole day. What’s worse is that it attacks around midnight, when we are about to cross over to Dreamland.

2. Stronger sense of smell. Some Internet articles said that it might be the result of hormonal changes.

3. Get irritated very easily, which I have to react by increasing my patience and understanding.

Our ob/gyne said that nausea and vomiting will be gone after the first trimester of Lei’s pregnancy. Well, until then we have to face the attack of nausea every midnight.

Day 6: A Visit to the Doc

My Beloved Wife is not feeling well today. She's experiencing nausea and vomited twice today. “It's cold in my tummy,” she said. The worried me don't know what to do.

“I want to see a doctor,” she told me.

I was hesitant to go to an ob/gyne because (1) I don't know where to go, and (2) I don't if I need to set an appointment before we can see a doctor. However, thanks to the power of the Internet and the insistence of My Beloved Wife (it is hard to refuse a lady who is naglilihi) off to the nearest hospital we go.

The obstetrician/gynecologist (ob/gyne) said that nausea and vomiting are normal in the first weeks of pregnancy. The doctor said that hormonal changes are happening inside My Beloved Wife's body and she's not accustomed to that yet.

The doctor told My Beloved Wife to take folic acid (5 mg capsule) daily for one month. This medicine is important to prevent neural tube defects and other defects to our baby. The doctor also prescribed Vitamin B Complex (1,000 mg capsule) per day to reduce nausea and vomiting.

We left the doctor with a better knowledge of what to do for our baby. And hey, we’re received some freebies.

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The Beginning